A Year in an Hour

Today is the 31st of December of 2010, the last day of the year. It is exactly 7:58 in the evening, my mom is now at the verge of kitchen chaos doing our new year's eve dinner. It was one heck of a year I would say, it's unforgettable. I had a lot of fun and I could pretty much say I have grown so far in the year about to end. Hardships and heartbreaking memories were inevitable, breath-taking moments still surreal, but all of them were pretty bearable. 

I couldn't ever forget my last New Year's Eve; it was all noisy, swollen eyes, and forced smiles. I couldn't wait to get off of that year, I can't wait to be out of 2009 and start fresh again. 2010 was my break of recovery for all the wounds of the past hard years, I can end up dead saying this year was awesome. However, it's another year to face, another fortune to make, and another growing up to do. Things happen and it's up to us if how are we gonna take it, that's FATE I guess and we are subjected to grow in every thorns we encounter.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

TSwift, enraged through strings

Dear John by Taylor Swift


It's just another Wednesday night, trying to do something productive and then I browsed over Youtube so that I can have a song playing while doing stuff, I searched for a Boyce Avenue then listened to their cover of Half of my Heart by John Mayer, a related video was featured on the right side of the pane, got curious, it's just another Swift's single, Dear John. I listened to it; the lyrics were clearly spoken, each and every line seem to have like a note longer than her usual songs (which ARE actually about her failed relationships). If I was just some ordinary listener, I would just like the song and agree on everything she's telling about "John" and their rocky road, BUT, it was hell of a disturbance that I did not just had an instant connection with the song (not that I.. yeah :-P ), there's something that actually will caught your attention like, "If-I-Was-'John'-That-You-Hate" feeling then it totally melts you into shame and guilt. The song was slow, not as soft, kinda hard but  totally not a rock or something, its not even just a ballad. It's like a hate mail with accompaniment. The song didn't end as pleasantly expected, it's a bit deranged, picturing how a fail relationship totally it was. 


"Twitter via song"
I have to say that I'm a bit impressed by how Taylor Swift can simply her exes lives through songs, and the fact that she uses music to express her feelings, I'm not a Taylor Swift fan (Don't hate.), I like her enough though, but the message of those hate songs she's trying to say is getting more tolerable, generic and habitual that it's no surprise how she's been doing in a relationship especially with the ones that's already screwed. 

On Tears

Have you ever had a crying spree? 

Did it felt good after the show? 

Did it felt right?

This is similar to a killing spree that you get at Dota, or some sushi buffet, or could be something like a free movie ticket for every reward at your credit card. It's fun, and you must feel a leap of satisfactory after it. Whether if its out of happiness or heartbreak, it supposed to feel good, but its up to you if it ever felt right, that where it differs. 

There is this one time that I had a crying spree back when I was in high school, I met my best friend that time. At the end of the school year, she told me that she had to go back to her previous school. She introduced me the school she left before moving at ours, I see a total difference in between. She didn't just come up showing her old school, but as well introduced me to a guy she knew back then, we became good friends, as in good friends. I felt that I never had a taste of my own freedom since I've been enclosed in my walls, I have too much boundaries, I have been in prison for forever. I'll never get a shot of my life if I didn't hope and push for the best, that's when I brag my mom about transferring to my best friend's school. It was couple-of-month-struggle that I kept saying and rubbing to my sister's and mom's face that I should be as happy as my best friend. And yet they all denied, the same time that I avoided my boyfriend for some reasons that I cannot even talk about. I ended up crying my frustrations out one afternoon, for six long hours, I'm in the verge of disappointment, releasing my loss and sobbing things that I could not accept. Later that night, I barely talked to anyone, haven't had meal throughout the day and never went out out of my room. 

Until now, I still feel dumb and shallow for pulling out that big show. I never felt any regrets for staying at MY school.

That's just one of my ear-throbbing crying spree of my life. I had a lot, (which is kinda hard to write down). For my sister's departure to U.K., utter disappointment of failing subjects and another nerve-wrecking frustration from my immature mates (LOL) at one school event. But despite of these countless tears buffet, I learned something and after my show, it felt good, though I can't tell you where amongst it did felt right.

Twitterazzi :)

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What's an inch away?

"I dunno how my life is gonna turn out now, but holy fcuking potatoes, this is so not my intro."

Whoa. was that me? Well, I've been really busy lately(and ALWAYS will be); but at one point of my life, in a very unexcpected moment, I've come to see what I do into myself around(okay, b1tchiness in 5,4,3,2, and 1. Enjoy!)BOYS. I just watched "He's Just Not That Into You" and I realized, "Sh1t, I'm a Gigi." (Go find what I mean, WATCH IT TOO)

My nerves are so freaking out because the last time I check, I'm not suppose to mind things about that, yet, it is still occuring. I'm an inch away for being a boy crazy, and that is not neat.

HOW? okay let me bring it..

I'm a shallow gal who gets to be impressed by little things. And that is so not me, WHY NOW? GAWSH! Am I the type of girl who falls in love in just a cup of tea? Well, no. And I thank the power of blogging for spilling out my feelings, which makes it kinda pressured out. I'm a bit fine. Just what Aisha said in 'Bring it on: In to win it', 'I myspaced it all out of my system.'. And as for me, 'I blog it down away from my system.'

FREAKIN'!